Disjointed whatnot

This week has been busy with lots of, well, nothing I can really seem to put my finger on. I guess T traveling and me constantly feeling like I'm not quite getting ahead of the game. I sometimes just need one day where I'm on top. Having just one day of feeling like "I got this." will carry me through the days where I'm just hustling along. 

I organized some closets at home and purged and restructured our office and that has helped me feel a bit clearer of head. But the long cold days are seriously bumming me out. I'm feeling like my spirit is starting to wilt and droop with how much I miss warmth. And I've decided that regardless of temperature, that I will start (and I have) working out in the yard and with flowers. And at work, I've decided to say "goodbye" to tights. Tights can bite me.

Weight Watchers is chugging along and I'm happy with where my head is at in choosing to reach for fruit and eat intentionally. Going to the gym is being scheduled in and I've made it part of my week and I am slowly starting to see my body shifting. My stomach is now mostly flat for Pete's sake. 

Last week I was struck with how fortunate I am to have T. I think it's because while I was cleaning out the office, I was mulling over our vacation coming up in June. Ten years of married life feels momentous for us because I feel as if we have weathered so, so much together. We've come out on the other side still together and still happy and still appreciative of one another and it just feels huge. Like an accomplishment we achieved that I really only started to realize.

Ezra and Iris both had gross runny noses for about a week, but their daycare fortified immune systems knocked them out with issue. 

I've started to think about more house projects and next up on the agenda are:

1. Sprucing up the front porch to our house. I'm thinking a new chair, an outdoor rug, new planters and, my favorite every year, hanging Boston ferns. Oh, and new address numbers.
2. Need to put the mulch in the beds.
3. Getting a landscaper to come out and fix a few of the smaller issues in the yard. We have some nudie patches in our lawn and I'd like my garden beds edged in a way that I can't seem to do on my own.
4. Having a painter repaint the pillars out front and some of the other trim + the garage door. 
5. Maybe trying to tackle our front entryway. It needs a new roof, hanging light, paint job, bench and mirror. Totally a weekend job (it's a small space), but we just freaking need to get it done already.

I've felt like I've had more head space to think about and plan these projects because things (relatively speaking) are quieter at home with the kids. No one is a baby. No one is in the hospital. No one is constantly getting ear infections and needing tubes. Things are quiet (kind of) and so I'm enjoying sprucing up the house. I'll probably eventually be buried in the backyard, so why not make investments while I'm upright.

She continues to steal my heart and widen my eyes at her antics.

What's going on with you?

Random useless tidbits

A few weeks ago at dinner, Iris claimed that she was Princess Leia and that T was Jabba the Hutt. 

Except that she pronounced it Bubba the Hut. Heh.

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I found this on Pinterest and it made me laugh:

via

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Ezra woke up once last night (3:30am: "Mama, you were supposed to come in and give me a kiss when you got home!") and Iris woke up three times (10:30pm--needed a hug, 2:00am--needed to tell me that one of her kitties fell out of bed, 3:30am--needed help finding her blankie that was wedged under her can).

I'm so tired this morning. Ezra rarely--maybe once a week?--gets out of bed at night and Iris goes through stages of waking up, needing something and conking right back out. The stage following this one for her is where she'll need to catch up on rest and sleep for 14 hours at night. I like those periods better.

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It's been very quiet at work as the term wraps up, and it's made for days that feel kind of looooong. Add in the gray skies and snow that keeps falling and I'm pretty close to jumping out of my office window by 10:30am each day.

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I joined Weight Watchers earlier this week because I'm determined to keep on trucking with the weight loss and WW offers that tough love to keep my eating in check.

Monday was okay. Tuesday was better. Wednesday was BLEAK. Today is good. I am fighting the pre-mediated urge to punch someone if my success in reigning in my consumption this week is not reflected in a lower weight on the scale. 

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I don't like smoothies.

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I lately have had a strong desire to clean some closets out at home. I think I might try and tackle them this weekend and take in a haul of stuff to Goodwill. 

Spring cleaning, I suppose, minus the actual spring.

(Bastard weather.)

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My very most favorite picture of Iris lately. 

Heh.

I know things

Growing up I used to love to read the World Book Encyclopedia. I'd pull a volume from the shelves in our fourth grade classroom and read all about Egypt, elephants, and emus. Also, how neat is it that the spines of the World Book all combined together spell out "World Book." My librarian heart is still thrilled with the sight of tidy book spines.

And while the World Book Encyclopedia is still sold, Wikipedia is now just as fabulous a wormhole. Link after link after link of information tidbits, although, for me; it often ends up taking a turn for the not-so-scholarly. See below.

Henry Rollins

to

USO

to

Ann Jillian

to

Gerald McRaney

(pause to try and recall wacky reverse mortgage commercial I saw with the senator turned actor in it and whatever happened to what's his name. Oh yes!)

Fred Thompon

to

equal-time rule

to 

Entertainment Tonight

to

Solid Gold 

(man, did I want to be a Solid Gold Dance growing up)

to 

Kids Incorporated

to

Billy Blanks

to 

Bloodfist

And then traffic at the Reference Desk actually picked up requiring me to work so I had to stop reading things on Wikipedia.

Regardless, I'm now powerfully equipped with the knowledge that Ann Jillian has been nominated for Emmys many times over and ET's claim of it being the most watched entertainment news magazine in the world is probably a tidgy trumped up.

Things I want to Hulk smash

I have many annoyances today and have decided to let gifs paint the words of my feelings. 

1) Snowy weather. You gotta be kidding me, March.

View from my office

2) Trying to reach someone via their listed phone number and continuously receiving their voicemail. I have insurance questions that need to be answered, fools!




3) Thinking about food all the damn time.




4) Loathsome work projects.





Feel free to add your own things to Hulk smash.

Spring clothes I have purchased

So all it took was one 50 degree day over a week ago and most of the snow melting for me to loose my fool mind and order a bunch of clothes for spring. 

My parameters:

My style is classic--hopefully not bordering on twee--but I love unique twists like a pattern and a collar and fun button. I am a dress and skirt wearer by nature. I don't do shorts. Ever. I need to be able to feel cute but also wrangle my children in the morning before work. If a piece is pinchy or grabby or bunchy I will want to burn it all to hell. I totally don't mind buying a dress from Target because I'll dry clean that bad boy and have had dresses last over six years and still look good (am wearing one today, in fact). I can wear a nudie leg and an open toe at work, so that's a freaking blessing. I know I'm pear shaped, so while that pencil skirt down there is a crap shoot (I bought it big and I'm willing to have it tailored to fit I love it so much), I mostly go for hemlines that flare out. I buy 90% of everything online and then will return it to a physical store if it doesn't work or I need to exchange it for a different size. T gets dubious about the number of parcels that show up on our doorstep, but I tell him not to worry his pretty little head about it.

Now for the goods:

I think I saw this dress mentioned online somewhere after seeing it in the store and have since decided it is the holy grail of dresses. I crap you not. I bought five of them. My plan is to wear them sleeveless once it's warmer, but I wore the black one with a white button down and some colored tights and it looked great. Target was running a special that if you spent $75.00 or more online that you'd get free shipping and an extra 20% off. So I got four dresses (I bought the first one, the black version, in-store to verify my size ahead of time) for less than seventy dollars. Freaking amazing.

Mossimo Women's Half Back Zipper
Fit and Flare Dress

I've never shopped with Lulu's before but I saw them mentioned in People's Style Watch magazine and wrote down the site. Their clothes are mostly meant for someone twenty years my junior, but they have a TON of shoes. I'm coveting these so hard, but they're sold out. The green ones below have yet to arrive but I'm pretty excited. Oh, and if you're new to the site, you can sign up for a $5 off coupon and so these shoes were even cheaper.

Lulu's Scallopini Green Scalloped
and Pointed Flat

Lara mentioned these shoes and I am a gold shoe super fan. They seriously go with everything. These shoes? These shoes. They are so comfy and great. The elastic is not rubby or irritating or too squeeze-y. The gold is fun and not obnoxious. I ordered one pair, loved them, ordered a second pair (for super secret back-up) plus a black pair.

Women's Claire Scrunch Flat



The Boden Spring catalog arrived last week and I got a bit excited. There were two things I adored and, thusly, two things I ordered. The top below (in mint) and the dress below it (in orange and navy). 

The clothes I have from Boden last damn near forever and I still love them, so I'm okay spending a bit more on their things.

Marcy Top

Lila Dress

I have a few things from Forever 21 and sometimes it's confusing. Their things are cheap and sometimes cheaply made but then sometimes not. It's a conundrum. 

At any rate, the skirt below is pretty damn adorable and I anticipate wearing it a lot this spring and summer. Like I mentioned it earlier, pencil skirts can be dodgy on a gal not really shaped like a pencil. So I'll give it a go, and if I have to set it free--then so be it.

Essential Eyelet Skirt

Love this sweater. Cute with jeans. Cute with black pants. Cute with my red pants. Black skirt. The red skirt above. Ole! 

V-Neck Bow Sweater

Lest you think I've lost my damned mind, it is the sweater I ordered--in navy--not the gross lace skirt.

3/4 Sleeve Sweater

This jacket may prove to not be my style (too Crocodile Dundee where I am most definitely not an outdoorsy type gal), but it fits really, really well and with stripes as pictured--is just kind of a comfy outfit.

Women's Long Canvas
Field Jacket

Striped dress! And it's rayon which means I will be able to machine wash it, line dry it and wear it weekend after weekend after weekend. And it's knee length so that also means that I should I need to wrangle a small fry--no one will be able to see my can.

Women's Striped Fit & Flare Dress

Although I need another striped top like I need a hole in the head, this one was too cute and too cheap to pass up. It's made of rayon and slim cut which will make it cute for skirts. Plus! It has elbow patches in the shape of stars. Oh yeah. 

Striped Star Elbow Patch Top

So. It appears that while I may not be buying a daily drink at Starbucks, the economy is not exactly tanking without me. This could also explain why my closet feels a tick tight. Ah well. 

What are you eyeing for the new season?

Why you gotta be so freakin' tasty?

First let me say that I can't stop thinking about pizza. I think it's largely hormonally driven, but oh my goodness I want it so much. Instead I have a sweet potato and grilled chicken breast planned for lunch. It's not the same at all but it comes worry-free.

When I quit caffeine, I decided to commit myself to eating more intentionally. It was equal thirds of knowing I needed to be more responsible about what I put in body + not liking how my body looked + a strong desire to lose 25 pounds.

I dithered about whether or not to even mention this here because weight and body shape and pounds lost are fraught with opinions that range from "You're great the way you are!" to "You can do it!" And I don't know which I want to hear--from you, from T, from even myself.

I mostly want my clothes to fit better. I mostly want my muscles back. I also want to wear a bikini with confidence this summer. I can't achieve those things by eating whatever I damn well please because that is what I was doing. I was eating whatever I wanted and moving as much I wanted (which is to say "very little") and my weight reflected that. 

And so it clicked a few weeks ago. I actually felt the commitment slip into place in a way I've not felt it before with earlier half-hearted attempts. Truly, this time it feels different. The result is that I'm nine pounds lighter.

What I'm eating/drinking: grilled chicken, sweet potatoes, turkey sausage, egg whites, water, avocados, spinach, Qdoba's naked chicken salad without sour cream and without cheese, bananas, pears, strawberries, cocoa roasted almonds, hummus. 

What I'm not: fast food, pop, coffee, queso, pizza, chicken fingers, chips--all sorts, ranch dressing, cookies, cake, candy, most food in restaurants.

I have little to no self control when it comes to food. In moaning to T yesterday about wanting to have pizza so, so much--his recommendation was to just walk over and get a slice. I told him I couldn't. Because one slice wouldn't satisfy me. I'd want two or three. And then I'd feel bad--guilty, unsatisfied, disappointed, poofy from all of the sodium. It's too early for me to dip in and out of the foods I used to eat; to take a quick nip at the "bottle." Soon, but not now.

I am also being entirely realistic with myself in knowing that that this 37 year old body that has birthed two children may not be able to lose the amount of weight I want it to shed. It just might not happen in the way I want it to without crash dieting (no) or eating very little (also, no) (aka: bitch, please). And although I am absolute crap at math, I am holding the health industry to their equation of burning more than one takes in. If that doesn't work, then I'm going to wallop someone.

Don't think I won't.

Gurrrlllll

My friend, A, and I have many feelings about famous people. See below.

Me: sweet baby jesus

Me: can we talk about amanda bynes? 

Me: http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20680928,00.html

A: TRAINWRECK!

Me: OH MY GOODNESS

Me: the hottest of messes

A: A little bit of Britney cray cray moments and a lot of Lindsey cray cray moments and then her OWN kind of cray

Me: yes

Me: sloppy

Me: i just remembered when brittany shaved her head and t and i were in chicago and i totally called you from the hotel gym so that we could discuss it.  haaaaaaaaaaa!

A: lol! 

A: I remember calling my sister and saying...Britney's going to die! She isn't going to survive this phase!

Me: yes

A: I gotta say though...I didn't see it coming with Amanda

Me: so wholesome! so funny! 

Me: why can't they have remain like unscathed like hillary duff?

Me: minus her forway into horse chompers, she kept it together.

A: She did. and she's one of the only ones...Her and Mandy Moore

Me: LOVE mandy moore

A: : )  She aight

Me: i always crack up that they used one of her songs on "center stage"

Me: cheeseball song EXTRAORDINAIRE. like nothing says ballet-dancer-gets-some-booty more than mandy moore?

A: right?! Straight up seduction music.

Me: rawr

A: it's been too long since i've seen Center Stage

Me: GURL

Me: i love that movie so, so much

A: ME tooooooo

Me: so fabulous

Me: and when they dance to that old school stevie wonder song at the dance school? 

A: you knock me off my feet now babyeeeeee!

Me: AND! when she gets braids of all things at the recital?

Me: heavens.

A: haha

Love/hate Monday

Love: We received the letter last week that Ezra got into the school we applied to in January. And he has kindergarten screening at the end of April.

Hate: My bayyy-beeee.

Love: Gratuitous Ezra baby picture for you.



Hate: Sigh. He'll be five this May.

Love: Changing the subject, I made this and this over the weekend and we loved both.

Hate: T continues to hate raw spinach.

Love: I am knee-deep in wanting spring weather, and have decided to at least force cooperation upon my closet since it is still cold here. Spring clothes await!

Hate: It is going to be in the 30s all week here. That is such a load of poo.

Love: We took the kids swimming at the indoor pool this weekend and Iris lost her fool mind. She LOVED it. And since Ezra is so tall, he felt big for britches and was able to stand and touch in most places. The pool is heated to 92 degrees and is warrrrrm.

Hate: I forgot to shave. Ah well.

Love: I am going to go to Zumba tomorrow tonight. I'm excited to start moving again.

Hate: And then trying a 6:00am weight lifting class the next morning. Erm. We shall see. 

Love: I have a microdermabrasion appointment tomorrow. I shall be smooth as a seal for Zumba, it seems.

Hate: Men who wear skinny jeans. Just no.

Love: Last night while watching America's Funniest Home Videos, Iris was for real laughing at the funny spots. Like little guffaws and snort laughs were coming out of her when people fell off ladders or got smoked by an errant baseball. Just when I didn't think I could love that girl any more than I already do.

Hate: I forgot to buy pears at the store on Sunday. I have been on a major pear binge. But things can get...dicey if one doesn't watch one's pear consumption. Ahem.

Love: I'd like to buy some cute skirts for spring.

Hate: Everything that is for sale is so damn short. I mean, really. It's ridiculous.

Love: I did find this skirt from Forever 21 and am very excited for it to arrive. 



What are you loving and hating? 

Come on, it's Monday. I know you have something filling you with ire.

Unleaded

So here's a bit of news: I haven't had coffee or caffeine in nine days. 

I was a once-a-day Starbucks gal. Without fail. Venti. With sometimes an extra shot or a second coffee run in the afternoon. If it was a Saturday or Sunday and the morning lingered on without that coffee because we were busy doing fun things or languishing in our jammies, a slow ache would start in my head and my body would feel like molasses. I just thought I was ridiculously tired. I always have some low-lying sleepiness, but I still generally get 7-8 hours of sleep at night. 

When I had surgery last week Thursday, I knew, of course; that I couldn't have anything to drink beforehand and that afterwards the lingering anesthesia would probably mask any exhaustion from not having coffee. Then there was Friday. I felt sleepy and hurty and just decided to see if I could go another day without it. Then Saturday. Then Sunday. What about Monday? WORK! Oh crap. I bought some very fancy International Mocha flavored whatnot (heh) because I know that sometimes I just crave the warm, chocolatey goodness of my Starbucks mochas. Would this suffice? It totally has. We have an electric tea kettle at work and I just make a mug or two of this and it's just as warm and just as chocolatey as the mochas. And only 60 calories.

About those coffee calories, I have been eating more intentionally in the last week, but I've also lost six pounds. My ginormous coffees were always non-fat and no whip, so maybe 280 calories, but I often got a pastry or something else. Plus even without that the dairy fat, that sugar in the mocha syrup counts for something. 

Having not had coffee for this length of time, I feel calmer and more even-keeled. I'm not so up and down with T or the kids. My head feels quieter and my body more peaceful. Now don't get me wrong, I am tiiiirrred at night but it somehow feels more...genuine or authentic than merely due to the absence of caffeine. Waking up in the morning is still unpleasant, but I snap-to faster and I'm not as foggy headed or sluggish or feel like I'm moving underwater until I get that coffee in my system.

It's been interesting. I miss Starbucks, though. I miss the smell and warmth of inside the building and the really nice baristas I've come to know. But I kind of like more the way I'm feeling now.

I really do. 

I about sprayed my International faux water mocha all over
the screen when I saw this. Haaaaaaaaa.

Tubes, goats and "I got this"

So surgery last week went well. I'm still hurty and have some righteous bruising near one of the incision sites and sitting feels better than standing, but other than that...mostly normal. Anesthesia smoked me like a son of a biscuit on Thursday and I forgot about the gloriousness that is napping. I haven't napped since I was pregnant with Iris and Noah and, lo, I missed it. Ezra was perhaps the best nurse ever and our local hospital probably needs to hire him. There is so much compassion in his soft heart.

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These goats--brought to my attention from friends on Twitter and then I laughed really hard and told Caitlin it hurt. And then watched them some more.







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T has been teaching the kids to throw up their hand and say, "I got this!" when experiencing a problem or someone asking for help. It's pretty amusing except for when they actually don't got it like when their shoes need to be tied or they want dinner made.