A decade of us

Today T and I have been married for ten years. It's chump change for some and incomprehensible to others.

Not all of our time together has been happy. We're weathered and toughened because of the harder bits together, but we have always been partners. I still like him on a majority of the days and feel blessed on even more days than that.

"Patience and kindness," T will chant to me in the moments I look pinched around the eyes. The mantra works.

We met over Thanksgiving weekend in 1999. I was with a dear friend at a bar and T came dancing up to us, offering to buy us drinks. I left with his business card, verbally gave him my work number which he not only remembered but then called me the next week to ask me out for dinner. I accepted.

We were married in 2003. A Saturday evening wedding at a church that we now live across the street from in a neighborhood that we coveted from the very beginning. The reception was at the art museum and we had a jazz band play. 

T is the one I can be most vulnerable with and also the one who can make me incensed like no other. I can't imagine any one else on this green earth putting up with my nonsense like he does nor do I want to.

I am happy to have him be mine, and for me to always be his.

Hot child in the city

T and I have never been Summer! Plans! people. I'm not sure exactly why, really, given that we only get about three months of summer weather here but I don't exactly feel compelled to fill it all up with stuff. Oh! Except for visiting the pool every weekend chance we get and eating a crap ton of concessions. Because I live for chlorine and concessions--simple as that.

And, well, for two of the past five years I was on maternity leave with small people. I took Ezra to the pool when he was a month old mostly so that I wouldn't lose my fool mind at home for four months. He and I would hang out under the umbrella and I would people watch...and eat concessions.

Iris, too, came home during the summer and while we also took her to pool because Ezra had just turned two and was allll about swimming--she was on oxygen. Those portable tanks were a pain in the can and heavy as hell. And she was sweaty. Babies with congenital heart defects often are since their systems are trying to regulate a bit differently and perhaps inefficiently, so I felt bad taking her out in the summer heat and having her sweat even more. Although, the newborn sized BabyGap swimsuit I bought for her is RIDIC (I saved it).

The point of all this is that this summer? We seem to be crack a lackin' with the plans. Maybe it's because the kids are older or maybe it's because I've pulled the stick out of my can about traveling with them (oh my gosh it's a production but whatever)--regardless, fun things await us. Like:

• T and I going on vacation. This pointedly does not involve the kids, but is taking place during the summer months so I'm counting it.
• Going to Ohio for the weekend to see my extended family. They are fun and utterly ridiculous (Aunties, I know you're reading this...) and Ezra loves his cousins with all of his heart. Also: swimming!
• Having another set of cousins come up and visit us for the day
• Renting rooms at an inn near the Big Lake with Sara and her family for an entire weekend. We took the Annual Beach Day and made it longer and a sleepover.
• I'm going to Columbus to see Michelle and other ladies for high levels of laughter and inappropriateness.
• Birthday parties for friends
• Swimming (and concessions)
• Getting Ezra read for kindergarten.

It's going to be a good summer, I think.

This is kind of what I do in the swimming pool.

Five

Today Ezra woke up at 6:17am, stood six inches from my face and said,

"I'm FIVE TODAY! And I growed overnight."

I marveled over his muscles and then we snuggled in bed.

Ezra's soul is one of the kindest I know. He and Iris do not fight. She will squawk in protest and he will give her whatever she wants/needs. They are complete partners in hijinks and maniacal laughter.

And his friends at school rush to him when we walk in the door (he usually needs a bit of space right away).

His love for all things astronauts and planets continues to grow from when he first discovered it at age two. His preschool teacher was amazed that he knew what an asteroid was and could name in order all of the planets.

Ezra's eyebrows have always tilted up with inquisition.

Eyebrows...

...up.

Eyebrows still up, and pretty much
the best picture ever.

He enjoys:

• Eating salads with ranch dressing
• Browsing the toy aisles
• Being tickled
• Wearing new t-shirts
• Going to the library
• Riding in the passenger seat if we're driving across a parking lot
• Swimming
• Snuggling with his blankie

He does not enjoy:

• Most vegetables
• Getting dressed in the morning
• The mean step sisters in Cinderella
• Flossing
• Staying in bed the first time I tuck him in
• Wearing a winter coat

I still remember getting the call from the nurse at our RE's office in early October 2007 telling us that the injections and ultrasounds and years and years of Medical Stuff had worked; that we were pregnant. I cried on our living room couch.

He is a gift.

Keeping it real. Real hoopty, that is.

I think that today, on the surface, I look fairly pulled together.

Cute dress.
Colorful scarf.
Eyeliner that isn't crooked.

But I feel so off.

First of all, the dress is a hot mess. It's about five inches longer than I last remember it and I'm wearing some tall ass wedge sandals. 

This is me standing. I mean...what is even
happening here?

And the neckline is very Jennifer Beals...

I am, however, wearing
pants.

...so I had to scrounge for a safety pin in my desk drawer and rig that nonsense together.

Don't let the thumbs up fool you--I feel like a mess.

And it's raining. And I'm tired. And T is gone again. And I have to work all day on Saturday and someone please call the wahhhmbulance.

Random useless tidbits

Today I'm meeting with the travel agent to pick up our papers for our trip to Mexico. Our trip that is in TWO WEEKS.

Any nonsense that I previously wrote about being reticent about on going on this trip you can consider a bunch of malarkey.

I am ready.

****

I bought a bunch of makeup from e.l.f. and I am digging it. 

Things I love:

Two brushes
Pressed powder
Eyeshadow set
Single eyeshadow
Eyeliner(s)
Case

Things that are meh:

Lipgloss (mainly due to color chosen)
Blush (still prefer Nars)

I think I maybe spent $30.00, with the train case costing about half of that. Also, with the pressed powders I ordered four because I wasn't sure what shade would be a good match. At one dollar a piece it felt silly not to. One of the four ended being perfect and is by far the best coverage I've ever seen in a powder. AT ONE DOLLAR. I kept the next darkest one for this summer and then threw the other two unopened compacts in my Donate to Goodwill pile.

****

Iris is doing tumbling at school and is really kind of quite a whirling dervish (or so I hear). Zero fear. Will try ANYTHING. Has entranced the woman teaching it.

****

I constantly appreciate how well T can communicate his thoughts and feelings WITH me. When things are feeling sticky, we talk and those talks mean something. And then things feel better.

I feel fortunate to have him and to have learned enough from past cruddy relationships to have made a smart decision in choosing him.

****

Ezra's 5th birthday party is on Sunday and I have yet to order a cake. My lord, I need to get my act together.

****

Some pictures.

Space being at a premium

I often feel like the real estate space in my brain is tight; as if perhaps there isn't enough room for new things I want to know or old things I should already know. And then I realize that this makes me mostly very dim because many other people juggle much more than I do and are smarter and stronger mentally.

So where did my limited brain real estate go? I have some ideas.

1. To remembering Cher lyrics. Oh, and Bel Biv Devoe. And Milli Vanilli. And Color Me Badd.
2. To ruing my lack of appreciation for what my body looked like at 23. I should have taken the opportunity to be wearing much less clothing.
3. Wondering how much Rodan and Fields scored off of making Proactiv.
4. Fretting about the wind and how much I hate being blustered about.
5. Wondering if this one guy at work is gay and looking for subtle or not-so-subtle hints
6. Recalling horror stories of unsavory characters hiding under cars and in back seats and alley ways, and so constantly sweating that someone is going to snagglepuss me and stuff me into a kidnap van
7. Reading about the Kardashians

The above list obviously establishes that I'm no intellectual, but apparently I'm your gal if you are wondering about the lyrics to "I Wanna Sex You Up." Or whatever.

Completely unrelated to anything above
except that Buster makes me laugh.
Source

In case you need some diabolical laughter for your Monday

Love/hate Friday

Love: This Zesty Guy commercial makes me laugh with its ridiculousness.






Hate: It's rainy and 52 degrees today. Ezra's angst over having to wear pants was intense.

Love: That's some good sleepin' weather right there.

Hate: My guts over having reintroduced coffee. Oooff.

Love: Real Housewives of Atlanta gifs. 




Hate: I'm having a hard time finding a swimming suit cover up that I like. I know. I have the struggles.

Love: Ezra is SO excited about his upcoming birthday. It is Star Wars themed and the supplies have been selected and ordered from Amazon. Star Wars Pez dispensers are the favors. 

Hate: Five. He'll be five. Lordy.

Love: He has been on an awesome attitude and listening STREAK lately. Good heavens are T and I enjoying it and trying to congratulate and support/reward him like crazy.

Hate: I'm cold.

Love: I have a cut and color tomorrow morning and am very excited. Freaking gray hairs harsh my mellow. 

Hate: My nails are looking bad news bears. 

Love: Life has been kind of quiet lately and that is okay with me.


What are you loving and hating?

Confession time

Two things:

I'm drinking Starbucks again.

I've stopped doing Weight Watchers.




The coffee reintroduction has been on the the wee side of things. As I told my favorite barista (actually, I have three favorites) when he questioned the viability of my short iced mocha, "I decaffeinated for a few months and this time it's for taste versus medicinal purposes."

I'm keeping the drinks and consumption small and oh my goodness did I miss them. SO MUCH. A short coffee isn't doing much to or for me other than allowing me to smack my lips at its yumminess (which is totally a word so shut it).




As for Weight Watchers, it was making me surly. Not in a "I'M SO HUNGRY!" kind of way, but more "Eff you and your points and I'm tired of this and all the focus." I mean, I know that's why it works--and work it did for me. I lost a total of 18 pounds from February 28 to May 1. I am happy with that. But then there was a shift. I started weighing myself every day and becoming fixated, I think unhealthily, on the number. I started sweating every bite. I became really disgruntled and resentful of having to count everything. Pretty much the opposite then of what I think Weight Watchers is supposed to do for someone's eating habits.

However, I noticed that I was enjoying my workouts more. I was enjoying being stronger and trying to challenge myself. I wanted to be active even when I didn't have to. For example, T and I walked to the gym and went to an hour long Spinning class last weekend when we were at the hotel. That's kind of unheard of and yet I wanted to do it and enjoyed it. That shift?--is what I'm really liking.

So I decided to stop counting points. To work on keeping those habits in check. To really challenge myself at the gym. A week after pulling the plug on WW, I've actually lost weight, I've eaten cake and I'm lifting more weight than I used to. 

I feel like making smart food choices and not sweating the cake and focusing on being strong is where I need to be. 

But I totally know that this is what cake
does in my refrigerator. 

I dig

Because I am simple of mind, here are some things I bought recently because of strategically placed ads encouraging me to do so.





I rather like this spray lotion. I recommend, but with caveats: It's rather light so perhaps not hardy enough for winter's dry skin. It can create a bit of a slippery situation on the wood floors in our bathroom, so I spray it while on the bath mat. I do still have to rub it on, so I'm not sure what the gal in the commercial is doing after spraying it on and then flipping into her clothes. Freak. 

But! I love it for the gym locker room because then I can put on my lotion and only remain nudie in an open area for a limited amount of time. 

What else.

Oh!

This!



Alpha Beta Daily Peel

Saw this mentioned in the Style Watch issue from People magazine and, holy snakes on a plane, am I sucker for a face potion. An affordable one at that. An affordable one that I can have delivered in two days via Amazon Prime.

So after the kids were in bed last night, I tore into it. Being not terribly sharp I didn't pay attention and instantly started rubbing Step 2 onto my face. "Hmm. I'm not feeling any tingling." Preen preen in the mirror. "My biznass doesn't look any tighter." Peer some more. Look down. "Aw balls. Eff. I've wasted a Step 2! Son of a... Sigh. Let's start over."

One application down and I did notice later that my skin was smooth. And I had a nasty blemish that I didn't leave alone and turned quite angry and oh my goodness will I never learn to just stop picking at it?! Anyway, I was worried that rubbing beta stuff on it would cause my face to burn and melt off, but it actually sped the healing up and this morning it all looked considerably less red and pissy.  Win!  

I recommend.

I guess that's all. 

Leave any recommendations of your own in the Comments!

Spoiled like a sonofagun

T and I went away this weekend and, holy crap on a cracker, was it fabulous. I felt all weird on Friday and it was hard to say "goodbye" to the little brown faces of my children but approximately 45 seconds later and I was fine. Completely fine.

I kind of said "goodbye" like this, but more with my
hand out the car window while T pealed out of the
driveway.

We ate out UNENCUMBERED BY KIDS MEALS. We crawled into the sheets for a nap at 3:00pm on a Saturday because we could. Well, actually T napped. I watched the CrossFit Games on ESPN for about two hours because, holy crow, those women are bad ass. We drank. We ate expensive chunks of meat. Saw Iron Man 3. 

Theme: FREE BIRD.

Oh! And the best part was that since I booked our room on the Concierge Level, we were able to use the Concierge Lounge for drinks and snacks and it was like an adult only club and I would like such a room in my house ASAP. I mean, we have four bedrooms. That fourth bedroom could easily become my own personal Concierge Lounge. You'd need a key card to come in and, once inside, I'd have someone to serve you a drink and give you a tasty hors d'oeuvre nibble between 5:00pm and 8:00pm.

Of course, the best part of all of this is that the kids did marvelously and my parents were in there like swimwear. I texted a few times with my dad and mom and they both sent detailed reports of how things were going. I called Saturday afternoon to say "hello" and they were at the playground. Ezra and Iris sounded happy and not at all concerned with where we were or when we were coming back. This did my heart good and I now feel ready to go away in June. So ready, in fact, that I'd like to go NOW. Nooowwwww.

Only 32 days until departure. 

Ole!