Negatory, says the sloth

Random useless tidbits

T's been out of the country since Friday morning, but the kids and I? Brought our a-game this past weekend. We had such a lovely time together. Honestly. We went to the new downtown market to check things out. We made cookies. Shopped at Costco and were entranced by the Vitamix demo. Library visit. Angel Tree shopping. It was fun.

And! Ezra knows how to play War (the card game). Of course, he handed me ass so, you know, I might be sending him to Vegas soon.























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I wasn't going to do Christmas cards this year, but on a whim decided to do them. I used Minted last year and liked their postcard options this year, so yeah. There you have it. FedEx tracking tells me they are currently on my snowy front stoop hopefully not being ruined.

Oh! Would you like a Christmas card? I'd love to send you one. Let me know.

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A few weeks ago, the Muffin had a run-in with a classroom based cough and nose situation. She got a low-ish fever and we used her inhaler to keep things open and clear, but it was gone within a week. Well now Ezra has it. 

At lunch I need to run out and buy a new humidifier for him.

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I have discovered the most perfect jean/corduroy ever: the skinny curvy style from Loft. It fits my can, zero gapping in the waistband, no drooping in the crotch/rise area, perfect length, tidgy bit of stretch. All of it lovely. My lower half is curvier and just so hard to fit in all of those special needs areas.

So yeah. I purged two ill-fitting pairs of corduroys and two pairs of jeans that practically needed a Viking burial. I then bought some pairs of replacement pants once I decided that these were It: one black skinny denim, one regular denim, one cranberry corduroy pair, and one blue corduroy pair. They all fit like a dream and make me a-okay with wearing pants. I'm very, very happy to have found them.

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Since T has been gone and I've been sleeping in the middle of bed with my buddy, Key Lime Pie; KLP and I have been watching holiday movies. "Love, Actually." "The Family Stone." And then it snowed and basically I'm listening to holiday music non-stop. Oh, and I decorated the house.

In the car, Iris requests the "elf music" which is the Elf soundtrack. It's good. I recommend.

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Next week is my birthday and we're going out to Fancy Birthday Meats with some incredible friends and I can't wait. Jennifer and I are getting our hair blown-out in advance which we are referring to as Fancy Drunk Birthday Hairs or Upscale Drunk Hair.

I'd like to buy a birthday dress, too. Why the hell not, right? 38 should start off looking good-ish.

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I'm still enjoying the iPhone and continue to feel fancier than T.

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The light fixture for the entryway is in my Amazon basket. Stools have been purchased for sitting. I hope to scout wall colors this weekend. 

!!!

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So Thanksgiving is in a few days and our plans are mellow. We're going to get dressed up and go to a fancy restaurant and I'm going to bring the iPad and maybe even the damned Kindle for the kids as I refuse to be rushed through a tasty meal. Ezra and Iris are actually quite well-behaved in restaurants, but I want to have a leisurely meal. I might even drink in the middle of the day. Why the hell not--it's a holiday and I want to savor our time together as a foursome (with stuffing and gravy).

Do you have a favorite Thanksgiving or holiday food?

Thirty-five days

I feel like maybe Christmas is pulling a sneak attack this year as I have largely been going about my business and then I realized, um, that particular holiday is thirty-some-odd days away.



That's right, George. Time to get crack a lackin'.

I would like to decorate the mantel and the house and put up (but not decorate) the tree this weekend. T will be out of town, so I figure this will be fun for the kids and I to do. Then the four of us can decorate the tree when he's back after Thanksgiving

Other holiday-ish things I'd like to do:

• Bust out Elphabet the Elf (K family detail #1: we do the elf, but he is not a bad behavior narc or good behavior advocate. He is simply a visitor and loves hugs. He moves about the house at night when T or I can remember at 11:30pm each night. Ezra and Iris adore him. He has also been residing in a drawer in my dining room buffet for the last 330 days and praise the Lord no one has found him otherwise the jig would be up.)
• Look at the internationally-decorated Christmas trees at the botanical gardens
• Drive around and look at Christmas lights
• Make hoopty gingerbread houses
• Decorate Christmas cookies. Based on the gingerbread houses, I mean, the kids love to decorate stuff. Ezra isn't a crazy lover of sweets and neither is Iris, but both are a fan of globbing obscene amounts of frosting on a surface so why the hell not.
• Pick out two ornaments from the Angel Tree and have them each pick out a toy for a boy or girl.
• Go to the tree lighting near us that has real reindeer. I fully anticipate Iris flipping her wig at this.
• Visit Santa at the mall. Last year Ezra sat on his lap twice, we'll see what Iris deigns not-suspicious.

Most of these are becoming our holiday traditions. I like that because, yay! traditions, but also because I can easily plan what the heck we're doing from year to year. And with only five weekends (holy moses) between now and Christmas? It is ON. 

As for the shopping, I think I'm mostly on top of it. T has made his wishes known, and my Amazon Wish List is organized with Ezra and Iris labeled both for under the tree gifts and stockings. (K family detail #2: Mama and Papa give the gifts under the tree; Santa stuffs stockings.) So I just need to add everydamnthing to my cart and pull the plug.

Remaining gifts: my two brothers, J the Fabulous Sister in Law, my parents, my nephew. That's not too bad.

Right?

New stuff

So I bought some new things recently. Some that I like and some that I do not.



Stila Color Me Glossy Lip Glaze Set

Kind of a super duper score from Ulta considering the price for nine lip glazes. I've been trying a new one each day and so far have decided that only one is a no-go. It was too orange and made me look ever so slightly jaundiced.



NYX Wonder Pencil

I bought this to use on my waterline, but instead of have strictly been using it to cover the bitch-ass melasma patches I have on my upper lip. One for my pregnancy with Ezra and one from Iris. How generous of them. Usually I just dab at them with concealer but the Wonder Pencil works even better.

I still like concealer under my eyes, but have used this on the inner corners where there are lurking shadows.



NYX Shine Killer

I like to call it "Shine Killa" for some edge, but overall this product was a waste of money for me. I've been using it under my tinted moisturizer and am shiny and oily in a matter of hours. It does make my makeup go on a bit more smoother, but not enough for me to be happy about the absence of shine. I wouldn't buy again and have thought about just no longer using it.

Thumbs down, Killa.



iPhone 4

That's right, fools. I have an iPhone. 

Last Wednesday morning I took Iris to the dentist and somehow the AABerry just up and disappeared. Maybe it sensed the winter of my discontent. Maybe I accidentally threw it away with my coffee. Who the heck knows. The point being is that I had to get a new phone, but since I wasn't due for an upgrade at Verizon, was left with paying retail so I went with a used one that is, frankly, a Crapton of Fancy for me.

I looooooove it.

Instagram and Pinterest and the Starbucks app and Cartwheel and lovely cases! Of which I have purchased two:





But I have to mild beefs (beeves) with the iPhone: the Twitter app is a leeeetle hoopty compared to how it was on the Berry. The blue lines show and it doesn't auto-scroll/update to the top and I'm not a fan. The second thing is the absence of a hard keyboard. My meat paws are slowly getting used to the touch screen, but mostly eh. 

Anyway! Come look at my stuff on Instagram! I'm TwoAdults there, too.


Do you have anything new that you love or hate?

Wondrous

"In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer."

--Albert Camus

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Today Iris turns four. 

It's hard to put into words what this day means to my heart; to T and I as a couple; to our family. 

I have so many overwhelming--I first typed "bad" here, but I think "overwhelming" is more fitting--memories about her day of birth. Having contractions all night. Being wheeled to an emergency c-section. Hearing the neonatologist say that they were going to stop chest compressions on Noah. Having the anesthesiologist tell me that all Noah knew was love. That first night in the hospital being quite possibly the worst night of my entire life. 

But then there is the flip side of overwhelming. When I first saw her swing at a toy with her hand and I cried. When she learned how to crawl and then pop up and walk just a few months later. Off oxygen. Off medicines completely after coming home on a total of ten. Off her g-tube. Discharged from occupational therapy, physical therapy, a intensive feeding clinic, pulmonology and cardiology. 

She's alive.

And not only alive, but happy. And adjusted. And speaking in longer, more descriptive and creative sentences in her little raspy voice. And SHARP. And hammy and ridiculous. And stubborn, but also so, so easy going. And lover of cats and blankies and goldfish crackers and M&Ms. 

Sometimes, as we're driving in the car, I'll just look at her with wonder. Her face and its expressions take my breath away. I hope that never stops.

Then...



...and now.

Happy birthday, my muffin.

Rough re-entry

So this weekend I realized why Hollywood divorces happen.

Backstory: 

T has largely been gone during the bulk of the week, Monday through Friday. Traveling all over creation, he's then home on the weekends but leaves again Sunday night or Monday morning. It'll be this way for a few more weeks and then will simmer down pretty much right on Thanksgiving Day. 

I'm used to full weeks, but it's been hard having them back to back to back. But by far one of the roughest parts is the first 14 hours or so having T back home. See, when he's gone? I run the show. AM to PM. I am THE boss. The only one. I ask someone to do something and they have to do it (even if it's, "Ezra, put on your shoes, please. Ezra, shoes. SHOES. SHOES. SHOES. Oh my heavens, put on your shooooooeeeesssss. Alright, I'm leaving right now."). When T is back, I am not the only boss...yet I still act like it. I get agitated and pissy if he doesn't do what I ask him to do. We have disgruntled exchanges where I turn surly and pouty. I stomp upstairs on a Friday night. It's lot of fun, guys.

Like PMS, it takes me about half a day to realize why I'm acting the way I am and then I apologize. And then I feel bad. And then the ship's been righted, but by that point it's Saturday evening and, well, soon another trip is upon us.

So here's where Hollywood comes into play. If we, as a couple, were apart for longer periods of time and! had a support group (like staff) (I have no staff) (except a crazy-ass cleaning lady) reducing the reliance on the other partner-spouse person and! were involved in big projects reducing attention to the other person, staying married would be tough. It really would. So I get it, Hollywood. Well-played.

And in the distance she heard a sad trombone.

I am currently sitting in my office and staring out the window and trying to muster some sort of motivation to do work. Instead I just checked out new 2014 planners and calendars online and got excited and maybe I'll leave work early and go to Staples.

Tomorrow the heating and cooling guys are coming out to do a furnace maintenance check and, wow, isn't my life exciting. 

Calendars and furnaces.

The only thing missing is me staring abjectly
out the window.

How is your day going?

It's all coming together

So about five years ago T ripped the ceiling out of our entryway. He prefaced the job by saying, "Let's just see what's underneath." 

I think my expression was something like this:



Now granted it was an ugly drop ceiling with tiles that looked pretty much exactly like this,...




...but I think we all know that quick "Let's take a look..." has led to me not having an entryway ceiling for five years.

The job stalling isn't entirely T's fault, or even his fault at all. The timing, however, is. I knew in my heart of hearts that once we had a baby that absolutely zero would get done to the house and, by and large, that's been pretty true. We're just too tired and without enough time to get crack a lackin' on things. 

We've redone Ezra's room (out of necessity) and the playroom (out of "necessity") and thrown some new appliances in the mix once they went belly-up, oh!, and I revamped the scary closet, but really that's about it.

But the times, they are a-changin'.

On Sunday night I cornered T in the bathroom and told him that before he left town again that I was going to order the tin ceiling. I quite literally blocked his way out until he said "okay." Thirty seconds later, I clicked "purchase" on these bad boys:



Soon to be shipped in a nice rustic satin copper, our entryway will be happy and not hoopty. And the pattern looks great with the mosaic tile.

A schoolhouse light, bench and mirror are in my Amazon cart and ready roll:









T promised to work on the ceiling and install the light when he is off work in December and I can easily knock out painting the crown molding and the walls (we're thinking a nice Wedgwood blue to match some of the tile) also during the holiday.

To be honest, I'm getting weepy just thinking about it.

Welcome to the longest day of my life

Technically daylight saving time only took place yesterday, but I feel like it really kind of delivered the longest 48 hours ever on this planet. Ever. I was able to accomplish some things, though:

**Tons of laundry. If I had to pick a non-person nemesis, laundry would be it. It's always around. It always has needs. It's sometimes strange smelling. I can never escape it. 




**A house diagonal from us is for sale, so I lickety-split looked it up on the MLS. Is there anything on this green earth better than having a house in your neighborhood for sale and being able to SEE INSIDE all legally and stuff? I think not. But, folks, they are DREAMIN' with that listing price. BWAHAHAAAAA! 



I mean, no. I'm sorry. Sure, sure, bless your heart, you redid the entirety of the inside and it's beautiful. But no. 

** We went and looked at new refrigerators and daaaaaamn, Gina; new fridges are big. I'm going to have to wrap my brain around how much space it will take up in our kitchen and pray that it doesn't look jenky considering we have to fit it into an existing, built-in cupboard space. It's going to be okay, right?

** I cut down (okay that neverending loop of Tom Cruise laughing is starting to creep me out...) all of my summer plants for the season. Sedum and hostas and hydrangeas and peonies--hacked out. Threw away my Boston Ferns. It's fall up in here, guys.

** Went through the kids clothes and pulled out all the shorts and t-shirts that won't fit in eight months because it appears that one condition of parenthood is springing for a new wardrobe for your children every damn season. Dang. 

** Visited with some family and ate a delightful Chinese lunch. Ezra ate his weight in sweet and sour chicken.

** Took Ezra to a Lego party at our public library. Every other month or so, they pull out six or seven huge tubs of Legos and Ezra loses his fool mind. It's like when we would go Barnes & Noble and Ezra and Iris would play for almost an hour with their Thomas train table. Fools, we have one at home. So, yeah, we have Legos at home, too, but the library's are more interesting. Clearly.

** A trip to Costco where, surprisingly, we were able to get quite a few things for not five thousand dollars. Usually I put four things on the conveyor belt to check-out and my bill is $283.00. How does that happen? At any rate, this was a successful trip with some meals for this week and a huge baggie of bacon and some more jammies for Iris and a ton of fruit and a chicken briefcase. Of course, I dropped my entire container of cherry tomatoes halfway through the store so that was lots of fun. Ezra and I also ate a churro and he checked out a recliner.

** As a parting homage to summer, T grilled out last night. Steaks and asparagus and mushroom skewers. Turns out Ezra still doesn't care for steak, but he and Iris both love some mushrooms. Alrighty then.

** Iris doesn't technically know what daylight saving time is, but I feel like her subconscious does know what it does to her mother and it ain't pretty.

What did you do this weekend?

Halloween was soggy

It rained all damn day, but still Halloween was lovely. I went to Iris' Halloween parade at daycare and, as in years past, it was like herding feral cats that are also sweaty and growing steadily more pissed off.

Once home, Ezra stripped his clothes off as he ran through the house and practically leaped feet first into his Batman costume. 

Based on the pictures below, however, it appears that I only have one child. Sorry about your lack of presence in photos, Dark Knight. Let's chalk it up to you being very into handing out candy. 

At school.

Cheeseballs

Keeping it mellow with
some Peppa Pig.

Snagglepussing candy
off-camera.

Love/hate Tuesday

Love: Swimming with the family on Sunday. Heavens alive my kids love the water.

Hate: The siren song of tacos.

Love: Shopping at Target with fam on Saturday (lots o' family time was enjoyed this weekend).

Hate: While at Target T got suckered into getting a flu shot since he's still in town

Love: Target billed our insurance and, dang, if that wasn't easier than me trying to find an appointment time at my doctor's office. Next year I might be hitting up Target directly. Lord knows I'm there often enough.

Hate: We didn't quite get around to carving pumpkins this weekend and I'm not sure we'll have time before Halloween. Derp.

Love: Dinner out with my lovely friends on Sunday night. Conversation, as always, was wildly inappropriate and honest and fraught with laughter-tears. It is always what my heart needs.

Hate: Work is nuts this week.

Love: I'm healthy! No coughing! Woot!

Hate: Well, I made it to almost November before accidentally sending the kids dressed inappropriately in coats that are too light. Damn weather.

Love: We bought Iris her first sleeping pillow this weekend and she loves it. 

Hate: She still is unsure about covers. 

Love: How understanding T is when I turn into a bobcat.

Hate: Bobcat-times still occur.

Love: This smoothing serum for hair. With it turning a bit drier out, my flyaways are out of control.

Hate: Dry air does a number on my hands.

Love: Essie apricot cuticle oil is magic.

Hate: Idiots

Love: The pictures below.

Can a girl just get a fridge and a faux fur scarf?

I have decided that I want two things for Christmas. Just two (and not my two front teeth, mind you):

1. A new refridgerator
2. A faux fur scarf

I mean, damn. Look at these two together:

+

=

True love always.

I'll have space aplenty and can finally stop giving my jenk, ugly as crow, tiny-and-trying-to-overcompensate refrigerator the stank side eye.

I'll have room for the massive amount of food Ezra eats AND my huge pot pies from Costco AND the all the juices T loves AND Iris' bulky lunchbox.

AND! It will be white. Praise be.

And as I soak in New Fridge Glory, I will have a toasty neck. That fuzzy scarf is something I would never buy for myself but I know is timeless and ridiculous and soft and WARM. I want it.

On our daydate yesterday afternoon, I told T that I decided what I wanted for Christmas.

Me: "Hey, I think I know what I want for Christmas."

Him: "Oh, yeah? What about your birthday?" (my birthday is in December as well)

Me: "Right now you only have to worry about Christmas...I want a new fridge."

Him: GUFFAW

Me: "Fool, I am serious. Take note. White. Huge. Freezer on bottom. You'll be home that week for delivery. Slap a bow on it and call it 'Christmas Morning.' "

So yeah. I'm serious as a heart attack. That's what I want.

Yesterday, today and tomorrow

Lovingly snaggled from April.


Yesterday I...

• Had a really, really good day. The best day in a long time. My headspace felt clear. My energy felt up. My patience? Also up! I'm on a third round of meds for the Grossness and I think, after a bit of ruminating, the reason I felt so good is because my head is actually clear (of snot) and my energy isn't being spent on coughing. I've been coughing since August so my quality of life might be improving. Mad props to those with tuberculosis. Because DAYUM. So yeah...I feel really good.
• T and I had a daydate which was lovely. This next month is going to be more intense than usual with his traveling so it was good to have catch-up time. 
• Looked in my closet and decided I need more sweaters. 

Today I...

• Am still feeling really good and mellow.
• Had my car cleaned out while on my lunch break. It was manky town. Oh! And the car cleaners found my extra access card to Iris' daycare that I thought I'd lost.
• Really, really started feeling Christmas-y. The weather this week has officially turned fall--highs in the 40s, cloudy, crunchy leaves throughout--and that just makes me want Christmas. Music! Trees! Baked goods! Tenement gingerbread houses!
• Felt a bit bummed about Ezra's school not doing Halloween costumes. I mean, I get it. It's a Christian school--I figured as much. (Remind me to do a post on this topic and how it was when I was a kid...lordy.) At any rate, we'll do trick or treating and a Candy Gorge Fest on Halloween anyway and I've already taught them to sing, "Trick or treat, smell my feat, give me something good to eat." I like to keep it mature.
• Am enjoying these pictures from the walk the kids and I took to the library on Saturday:

Tomorrow I...

• I have to figure out why the money to Ezra's lunch account didn't post. Sigh. I don't want to have to track someone down. 
• Hope Ezra cooperates in the morning. Dang it if getting him going in the morning isn't a pain. Hey! Guess what! Every morning you have to take off your jammies! Why is this is a surprise?!

Share with me what's on your plate. I want to hear.