NaBloPoMo

So lord if I know how to pronounce it without sounding like I've had a stroke, but I've decided to participate in NaBloPoMo, or National Blog Posting Month for November.

Pitched as a way to "grow your blog," I'm not sure that's what I really want out of it.  Instead I'm going to use it as a challenge to see if I can write every day for a month.  The quality up in here (snort) might take a hit, but we shall see what comes of it.

Prepare for your RSS feeds to EXPLODE.  (Heh.)



Courtesy of BlogHer



About

Lately, as I've discovered new writers and tried to figure out their Story, I've been wondering how to describe who I am to all of you.  Lots of things have made me who I am, but it's kind of like this giant mish-mash pot of stuff and feelings and experiences; lots of good and lots of bad.

I am someone who lost her mother to cancer when I was just eight years old, but I am also someone who gained a second mother a few years later.  I am someone who has made some truly awful life decisions; ones that make my mind's eye cringe and hope my children never repeat.  I have always bitten my fingernails and I hate it.  I am someone who loves small cars and matching underwear.  I am someone who is awfully sarcastic and inappropriate but will cry for and with a friend at the drop of a hat.  I wish I was more patient with my husband.  I am someone who had a dreamy, problem-free first pregnancy but who then had a most horrific second pregnancy with some issues I have only shared with a few. 

I am someone who doesn't have a favorite color.  I have two cowlicks which prevent me from having the side-swept bangs of my dreams.  I am someone who sometimes wishes I was thinner but am too lazy to do much of anything about it.  I am smart in ways that don't really matter like US Weekly and doing well at Jeopardy rather than current world events and math.

I am someone who is able to read people's emotional cues and remember details extraordinarily well.  I am someone unable to leave a dirty kitchen before going to bed.  I am someone sometimes repulsed by the religious and political rantings of others but also thankful I live somewhere where you won't be stoned for voicing them.  I am someone who has oily skin and still breaks out and this gives me the absolute rage.

I am someone who cackles and gasps a lot, makes up words and wonders what is UP with those without a sense of humor.  I hate small talk and house parties.  I wish I was a better parent.  I am someone who has to mute the tv and cover my eyes when a preview for a scary movie comes on.  I am someone who gets really excited about making a new friend.

I am someone who is thankful for you all everyday.

Halloweenie costume updates

Ezra is no longer going to be Captain Huggy Face for Halloween.  He spotted a Thor costume at Costco a few weeks ago and, lo, it was the Chosen One.  It was the last one and was in his size.  Folks, it comes complete with fake built-in muscles, hammer, cape, full body outfit-thing and head gear.

For $15.99.  I didn't have to make any of it.

For a hot second I felt sad that he wouldn't be Captain Huggy Face, but then my Less Than Crafty Self felt...relieved.  Thor it is! 

Although, I'm pretty sure the damn thing will melt if too close to a flame so I guess it's a good thing Ezra doesn't smoke. 

Iris is going be a sheep and anytime she spots it hanging up, she wants to snuggle with it.  It is pretty soft.  Damn you, Potterybarn Kids.

So, here's what I've figured out about the Satan that is PBK:  their costumes are ridiculously overpriced BUT they ship ridiculously fast AND they're really well-made and not, um, made out of creepy weird poly-fibers or something (coughCOSTCOTHORcough).  So both last year for Ezra's astronaut costume and this year for Iris' sheep costume, I waited until mid-October to order it as they were already 30% off and offered free shipping.  It arrived in a week.

Ezra still plays dress up with his costume, so I figure it was worth spending a bit more.

T doesn't happen to agree.  Heh.

Happy playground time

Produce All The Things: Venture #2

So yet again I wanted to make those damn fridge frames but I didn't get around to going to the Hob Lob.  Instead I ate a donut and got a manicure while the kids napped on Saturday.  Priorities.

Anyway, for dinner I did manage to make something from my "Tasty Bites" pinboard.  It was the opposite of tasty.  In fact, I renamed it The Poo-Poo Platter and didn't force the issue with Ezra when he wouldn't eat it and instead got him a runner-up dinner of an apple and some cheese.

I'm not sure where it went wrong.  Maybe not cooked long enough?--because the biscuits, though tan on top, were suuuuper doughy underneath.  Not enough flavor?--I used a chicken briefcase and added the chicken juice to the gravy-veggie mixture to add in the flavor and still, blech.  Not enough salt or onion or garlic?--perhaps. 

It didn't taste foul--it just didn't taste like anything.  What a waste of biscuits.

I'd link to the recipe, but it appears to be a dead link from Pinterest and from the blog that it seemed to come from.  Consider yourself saved.

Photos for you, though!



Son of a gun.  I dumped everything into the dish
but forgot to add the chicken. I iz smart.




Chicken.





So promising and yet so manky. Looks can be deceiving.


















At any rate, I tossed the recipe because as long as I can buy a pot pie from Costco that is tasty and rocks steady all night long?--well, I'll be going that route instead.

Love/hate Wednesday

Love: My husband

Hate: His absence

Love: The dealership I had to take my car to even if it was on the absolutely worst day to have to do this. 

Hate: Think busy! at! work!, lone wolf at home, rainy, cold, check engine light, jerky acceleration and wonky braking.



Love: Despite initially saying they didn't have any available, they scrounged up a loaner car for me to use.  I threw the car seats in the back and peeled out on my way back to work.

Hate: I felt overwhelmed and totally cried in the loaner cry.

Love: I am no longer Weepy Willie and the car is, apparently, ready and I don't have to pay anything.

Hate: I got The Call from daycare on my way back to work

Love: It was only to ask if it was okay to give Iris Motrin since she had turned Land Shark and was gnawing on EVERYTHING.  (I discovered three new teeth this morning.)  (!!!!)

Hate: Poor Muffin.  She's been weepy at bedtime the last two or three nights and we just thought it was her being squirrely.  Lord.  It's like we're amateurs.

Love: I have carrot cake for later that I will so be eating in my sock monkey jammies while in bed.

Hate: The Skinny Cow Clusters chocolate-things.  They are complete and utter b.s.

Love: My children and how happy they are to see me when I pick them up.

Hate: Within minutes of getting in the car, Ezra asks, "What are we having for dinner tonight, Mama?"  I don't often have a response and, well, he becomes put-out. 

Love: That he says "tonight" like "TOOnight."



You?  Loves?  Hates?  Share.

Son of a biscuit

I did absolutely NONE of the Produce All The Things: Venture #1.  Zero. And I'm still deciding how much of a sucker I am by the fact that I am surprised that nothing was indeed produced.

On Saturday night, I felt kind of like a slacker.  Sunday night, even more so.  And by the end of the day on Monday, I told Pinterest to kiss my grits.

I think I need to slow my roll and realize that perhaps signing myself up for four things is perhaps a bit too optimistic. 

To my credit, we did have people over for dinner Saturday and Sunday night.  I cleaned the entire house.  Had a play date with friends.  Did some laughing and tickling and laughing at jokes.  T slept in.  There was a mega crapton of laundry.  Reorganizing of drawers and removing of sundresses of yesteryear.  So still productive, and it wasn't as if the fam went hungry without cheesy chicken whatnot.

But my fridge is nudie since I removed all the pictures and did tough love (aka the garbage) on some of the hoopty magnets.  So, I think the fancy fridge frames and a trip to the Hob Lob is in order at lunchtime.

Victory, it will be mine!

Muffin on the move

The five best decisions I've made

As snaggled from No Pasa Nada...


The five best decisions of my adult life:

1. Graduating college early
2. Living in Atlanta for two years
3. Making a list of everything I wanted in a future boyfriend/partner person
4. Deciding to go on that first date with T
5. Going forward with infertility treatments to get pregnant

And I guess if I were to add a #6 to the list, it would be something to the effect of trying to learn from jenked up decisions I've made.  That'll serve a gal well, I'm figuring out.

What about you?

A snort laugh for your Saturday

Red Door emailed this to me last week--thus further solidifying her role in my life as one funny ass lady whom I mucho adore.

Produce All The Things: Venture #1

So I just eyeballed my pins on Pinterest and for this weekend's tomfoolery I've decided to try out: 

Fridge frames!

Um, okay.  That actually that seems like a lot of work once I've read the instructions.  Balls.  I may revisit this.  OR!  Be super creative and spend too much money at the Hob Lob in trying to jury-rig an alternative. 

At any rate--I'll probably try this on Monday since I took the day off and will have solo time to browse the store and swear in private while constructing it.  Our fridge could use some jazzing up.  Even T said so.

Night Owl S'mores!

Uh, ding dong.  These look delightful and don't appear to require fancy kitchen trickery.  And how bad can they go wrong?  Don't answer that.

I'm thinking Saturday afternoon after naptime for this beast.

Creamy Chicken Roll-Ups!

If I can combine a chicken briefcase (grocery store rotisserie chicken in that handy carrying case) AND crescent rolls AND some sort of creamy soup all in one dish?--hot damn.  I'll probably think that I've died and gone to heaven.

I'm thinking Sunday night dinner for this one.

Chicken and Bacon Chowder!

Again with the chicken briefcase, but this time with bacon.  Ole.  Since I'm off on Monday, I'm thinking I'll give this one a try since I'll time to cook that night.  Plus I'll probably need something bacony after all the swearing at the fridge frames. 




So, folks, it could be bleak or it could be great. 

I shall report back with pictures.

Brothers + sister

I've been leaving work a bit early when I can the past week or so because the weather has been so fantastic.  Our windows are open.  Ezra is wearing shorts to school.  I am greasy by 7:00pm.  All things pointing towards warmer weather. 

Anyway, we then race home, put stuff away, eat dinner and head out to the playground by 5:30pm.  Iris LOVES it.  She climbs and scoots and works on doing stairs while standing up and homegirl goes ape for the slide.  I have the distinct pleasure of going down with her because she tends to go ass over applecart on her way down.  Plus! I once read or heard a very nice horror story of an anecdote (Twitter? Parents magazine? Graffiti on the bathroom wall?) of a child who broke his leg because his grippy shoe got snagged on the slide but his body kept going down.

Gah.

Anyway...all this to say that Ezra pretty much won't go to the playground without Iris. 

"Iris is coming with us?"

"Iris is going to the playground too?"

"We're all going?"

"I don't want to go without Iris."

Iris still lights up when Ezra goes into her room in the morning and he will throw an elbow to get in there first.

If Ezra gets too close to her face or rough with her hair, she'll take a swat at him and he'll be shocked that she did that. I coach her on "gentle touches" and tell him to give her some space.

They're only 18 months (22 months initially intended) apart and while it was Holy Eff What Were We Thinking? at the start because of their closeness in age, now it is interesting to me if their difference in age is a factor in their affection for one another.  Could be, could be not at all.

It will also be interesting to me to see how their relationship evolves.  Will it be one of mismatched personalities and not much in common?  Fighting and scrapping?  Fierce protectiveness?  Vetting of future boyfriends?  Hard to tell.

I do know that whatever or however their relationship changes, I am forever thankful to have both of them and their love for another in my heart, with Noah there as well.

I can't imagine it any other way.

Produce all the things

Sometimes I feel like a slacker.

I don't often make a dinner from scratch.  I don't pack lunches for T or I.  I don't make my own coffee.  I don't do my own nails.  I don't floss.  My car is overdue (mucho) for an oil change. 

Although...I do manage to have clean undies ready on the quick for my family.  I don't sweat it when Ezra and Iris mix the Play-Doh colors.  I just shaved my legs.  I return calls and emails within a reasonable amount of time.

But since that first list is a tidgy longer, I've decided to grab the productivity bull by the horns/balls and Work On Some Stuff.  And this is where Pinterest is my enabler.

Ahhh, Pinterest.  Slow to my roll at first, I have gained momentum on Pinterest and "pinned" things that make me laugh, swoon and feel inspired.

Of 300+ pins, my favorite is still Porpoise Captain.  I mean...how can you not LOVE THIS?



I laugh out loud every time I see it.



















At any rate, I've decided to do a self-imposed Produce All The Things project where each week I will choose, from my seven boards (Tasty Bites, Hair, Small People, Home, Dresses, Fabulous Miscellaneous, Holiday Good Things), two things to accomplish; most likely on the weekend.

On Monday, I will update you with pictures as to my successes (!!!) and/or failures (more than likely). 

Ole.



Ed. note:

It appears that I am not only a slacker, but lacking in originality. Julie is doing an offical 52 Week Pinterest Challenge.  It sounds hardcore.  I am not hardcore.  Or a follower.  Okay, maybe I'm a follower, but I probably won't officially link up since we've established that I'm a slacker and I am anticipating quick burn-out on this Produce All The Things venture. 

Ole again.

Sweet baby jesus

Not only did I waffle an inordinate amount time about whether or not I should do the blasted accent vlog that is circulating, but then I go ahead and do it--finagling with it with much impatience on the iPad and then upload it a bazillion times and then...

THE SCREEN CAPTURE BELOW IS WHAT GREETS YOU.

I already hate any and all pictures of myself and this is what I offer you as a first impression of my face?

Lord almighty. 

I am so sorry.

Also, in the course of talking, it appears that I have a lazy eye but I really do not.  At least, I don't I do.

And I almost said "shit," but censored myself. 

So without further ado...

I have lists for you today

Things I am wary of:

1. Bugs that jump
2. Green peppers being sneaked into my food
3. Veggie burgers
4. Hair that is super bouncy
5. Women who have thighs that don't touch

Things that gross me the eff out:

1. Mystery veins that show up in my chicken
2. Seeing someone's spit on the sidewalk
3. Getting poop on my hands while changing a diaper
4. Black coffee
5. Whiskey

Things that make me straight up swoon:

1. Going on vacation to a warm place in the wintertime and stepping off the plane and smelling/feeling the humidity.
2. When Ezra says, "I love you, Mama!"
3. Freshly done nails
4. Iris being sassy
5. Clean sheets when I am sleepy

 Things that make me gasp:

1. Wanting to watch a particular show or movie and then SEEING THAT IT'S ON RIGHT THEN.
2. Stubbing my toe
3. The price to fill my car up with gas
4. The first bite/drink of something so super marvelous, like, chocolate mousse or a really good amaretto sour.
5. Finding a really good deal online

Things that I don't feel are worth the price charged:

1. Most shoes
2. Facials
3. Candy bars
4. Body lotion
5. Parking tickets

Things I am looking forward to:

1. Iris feeling confident enough to walk on her own
2. Pinning nonsense on Pinterest
3. Christmas music
4. The chocolate milkshake a lovely co-worker/friend type person is bringing me
5. Getting over the initial nervousness of meeting new people at The Blathering

Costumey goodness

Ezra has firmly and repeatedly informed me that he wants to be Captain Huggy face for Halloween.  This boy, he does not waffle (he gets that from me).

With Halloween only a few weeks away (oh snap...when did that happen?), I need to get crack a lackin' on his costume.

For your reference, a picture of Captain Huggy face with Word Girl.

So I'm thinking I need to:

• Procure a red hat or an old football helmet and spray paint it red
• Figure out how to put an antenna on the hat/helmet
• Find a blue shirt and either stitch or glue a fabric-y, yellow lightning bolt on it
• Either make a fabric-y, yellow belt/sash or find a yellow belt or find an old belt and spray paint it gold
• Find red pants

Balls. 

I may be hitting up some thrift stores (old football helmet, old belt) and Kohl's (blue shirt, red pants) and Hobby Lobby (spray paint, yellow felt) on my lunch breaks over the next few weeks. 

As for Iris, inexplicably I'm rather attached to her dressing up as either a sheep (snugglesnuggle).  I should probably get on that.

T doesn't dress up.  And he is also totally Scrooge McDuck leading up to the very moment when kids ring our doorbell.  Then he gets into it, so I guess his heart isn't completely made of flint.

I don a witch hat that is usually kept on the bottom of our hall closet the remaining 364 days of the year.  It makes my head a bit sweaty, but that's a small price to pay for being allowed to wear a witch hat and not look like a damn fool.

Idyllic apples

I am trying to type up this post, but I am currently devouring a corned beef sandwich from my all time favorite deli and I may or may not be moaning audibly in my office.  I just...it's corned beef.  And, well, I have many feelings about corned beef.

But anyway.

This weekend T and I decided to seize the apple orchard visit by the balls and go after Ezra and Iris woke up from naptime.  Our weather here has been ridiculously gorgeous.  Think: sunny, no clouds, no wind, 65-70 degrees.  Not sweaty!  Not cold!  Dreamy! 

Saturday was a tidgy colder (hence hats on the small fries), but we decided to go since our remaining weekends in October are kinda nutty.

Folks, it was a straight up Norman Rockwell apple orchard visit.  No lines.  Hot donuts straight out the fryer.  No whining.  No one (me) being bossy.  No one (T) feeling impatient.  Big and small people smiling.  All kinds of awesomeness.  I mean, it is the exact kind of outing that I envisioned when thinking "Family" before T and I had kids.  Of course, I now know that these kinds of outings are rare--an aligning of the stars, if you will--since at any moment someone could poop up their back, wig out over the injustice of their car seat or be tired and snarly due to a long week at work.

BUT NOT ON SATURDAY.

Saturday brought it and we reveled in it.












Hayride! Iris' excitment over the horses was NUTS. 








"I would like to climb on the ginormous apple now."




Ezra smiling.  Iris saying, "Fool, you need to back it up."




A ginormous "bounce pillow" that Ezra was all about. 







"Mama!  My head has hair!"