Swords on Sunday

Sunday afternoons are tricky.

I'm usually cracking can to get a mega ton of laundry done and put away and get everything ready for the upcoming week. T is usually trying to remain upright because he's played hard with the kids and they still want more of his Life's Blood.  And, meanwhile, Ezra and Iris are going strong. 

So yesterday I remembered that I purchased some foam swords from the dollar bins at Target and stashed them away in my closet for just this type of Sunday afternoon.

There were only two rules: 

On someone's body, only hitting below the knees
No hitting furniture; only hitting the floor

Despite being foam, a sword to the melon could've been bad news.  

So Iris. While I'm pretty sure having never held a sword before, yeah, she knew what to do with it.  She seized, she brandished, she ran after her brother. T and I about wet our pants laughing.  She was very "take no prisoners."

Saturday lady time

On Saturday Iris was on me like white on rice, and Ezra wanted T to take him to his sports sampler class--thus the sexes divided and conquered. 

I didn't have much to do at home that morning, so Iris and I petered around and read books and I took her picture.

She is my sweet girl.

New stuff I like

So I have tried some new things recently that I am really quite happy with. Let me share with you.

Keebler Town House Flatbread Crisps

Small like a Town House cracker normally is, these beasts are TASTY.  Lite and crispy and just...good.  I'm not a huge cracker eater, like, for snacks or anything but I have been eating these. 


Burt's Bees Aloe and Witch Hazel Hand Sanitizer

My book club did its annual $10 pass-around-a-generic-gift in December and like the years before, the gifts rocked steady all night long.  I got this hand sanitizer spray and a few other Burt's Bees items as my gift and I am in deep love with it.  It smells good and leaves my hands feeling clean and super soft after using it.  I often wish I could dip my children in it upon picking them up from daycare.


Clinique's Turnaround Overnight Radiance Moisturizer

I get "Allure" magazine and when they mention a product that piques my interest, I'll rip the page out and stuff it in my nightstand drawer to hopefully remember to think about and maybe buy later.  Along that same vein, my nightstand drawers are a hot mess of treasures that I refuse to let anyone into.  How is that in a 2400 square foot house I am left with only two drawers as being sacrosanct?

Anyway, in cleaning out the drawers after the holiday, I found a page mentioning this cream (creme, if yo' fancy) and decided to buy it.  My skin is very, very oily but my eye area is very, very dry.  There is no way I could use this during the day, but I slather it on like a mutha at night and in the morning my skin is moisturized and happy and sorta glowy.

I do avoid putting it on my chin, even at night, since I tend to break out there more than anywhere else.  

Have you tried anything new lately?

Love/hate Thursday

Love: Erica and Sam both sent kind messages to me last night and they made me feel loved.

Hate: In an email exchange I've been having with the mom of one of Iris' old NICU baby neighbors, she shared that another one of their neighbors in that nursery recently passed away of multi-organ failure. It made me cry in my office. 

Love: Ezra has been plotting his birthday party/celebrations/cake eating since November.  His birthday is in May.  He has shared that he would like a soccer ice cream cake and puppy decorations and to receive a big boy bike. 

Hate: My mocha tastes very, very gross today.  I will still drink it because I need to remain upright until 7:30pm.

Love: I am the only one in the librarian office area right now.  It is very quiet and peaceful and sans bitching.

Hate: We busted out the bunny clock to get Ezra to stop calling for me and just chill out in his bed until at least 6:45am or 7:00am which, until about three weeks ago, he was doing quiet contentedly and successfully.  Anyway, Morning One of Bunny Clock Keep Your Mouf Quiet was a tidgy unsuccessful.  

Love: He understood the concept of waiting until the bunny was lit up to call for me.  Here's hoping for Morning Two.

Hate: This is only a issue because Ezra does not get out of his bed unless we come into his room and tell him it's okay.  This was a Win, but now is becoming a Lose.

Love: Enough about that, I will be seeing my book club (psst...we don't actually read books as a group...) for dinner on Sunday night.

Hate: It is cold and gray. The weather said sunny and 42. Liars.

Love: I have a cut and color this Saturday.

Hate: I don't really want to be at work today.

Love: Lunchtime will be here soon.


What are you loving and hating?

Powering doooowwwwn

I feel like crap on a stick. 

Work has cleaned my clock and I'm drained and it's cloudy and I spent a little bit of time staring out my office window today and perhaps drooling a little bit because I feel so smoked.

I don't have much to say, I guess, so how about a cat jumping over a baby gate?

Tending to your biznass

So here's the thing: I'm not surprised that Heidi Klum and Seal decided to separate.  Marriage is tricky and requires attention and effort and, man, sometimes all of that is hard to do.  It is made even harder when you work, travel extensively and have children.

In fact, I'm never really surprised when a couple separates or divorces yet I don't consider myself jaded--simply realistic about what I think many people assume marriage will be like and then what it actually turns out to be, day after day.

T is my best friend and even in our worst moments, when I am disappointed in him and disappointed in myself and really just don't want to see his face, I simply cannot imagine a future without him.  That is what keeps me trying to do a tidgy better about having a kind tone and giving him less hassle and thinking of nice things to do for him, even if so very small.  I don't want to ruin or chip away at things so much so that a future without him seems feasible.

Marriage is hard because I don't think being selfless is innate.  Marriage is hard because being snippy is almost always easier than being nice. Marriage is hard because it takes a small amount of work each day to keep it all together and sometimes doing just that blows. Marriage is hard because children sometimes suck your will to live.  Marriage is hard because sometimes it is easier to turn inward and rely on your own damn self rather than ask for help.  

For all of those reasons, when it goes down the toilet for a couple, I'm not surprised. I'm not surprised simply because I know too well how easy it would be for that to happen and I'm determined to not let it happen to us.

Admissions of stupidity

So I recently read in US Weekly that Felicity Huffman once thought Miami was a state and that she thought the octane stickers on the gas pumps were when the gas was made.  

I did not snicker at these because I also have had some Derp Moments and I would like to share two of them with you.  Because I am a giver. 

Okay:

1. I realized not so long ago that the reason Ray Charles wore sunglasses is because he was blind.
2. That scarecrows are called "scarecrows" because they, um, are supposed to scare crows.  

Please tell me you have some of your own that you'd like to admit.

Random useless tidbits

I sometimes swear too much.  T is much better about not swearing.  However, I would like to pat myself on the back about almost never swearing in front of the small people. It only took Ezra repeating "douche" about a year ago for me to keep it on check.  And calling someone a "douche" isn't even all that bad on the spectrum of potty mouth words.

****

I have been mad productive at work in the last four weeks or so.  I've been trying to stay on top of nonsense rather than procrastinating and letting the bogus projects build up.

It feels better to tackle things right away.

****

I woke up feeling pretty darn peppy, but am now feeling sleepy.  There are only about eight more hours until I can go to bed.  Also, I have a stomachache.

Boo.

****

In talking with a co-worker about something else entirely, I voiced being unable to even think about visiting or going back to the University Town where Iris had her heart surgery.

I...just can't.

I mean, there is no reason for me to go or be there, but those two weeks were some of the hardest of her hospitalization and, well, I just...no.

And then I just stumbled across the story of a family who's 21 month old son was diagnosed with leukemia and it made me cry at my desk just now.  I think those days are behind us and they are, but so much is still below the surface of my skin that I think I may carry with me always.

****

An ultrasound story for you:

In being poked and prodded to figure out what is amiss with the uterus (does that rhyme?...), the tech and I were making small talk. Her kids. My kids. And then I thought I heard her say: 

"How far along is your baby?"

I crap you not, I screeched "WHAAAATTT?!" and whipped my head around to the look at the ultrasound screen; searching for a baby that holy balls how did you get in there?!

She Scooby-shuffled her words and said, "NO! I said, 'How far apart are your babies?' "  

"Gah!" I told her, "I thought you were telling me THAT YOU SAW A BABY INSIDE ME!"

So. 

Ridiculousness

I am heading into some ridiculous times at work.  Lots of teaching, some later shifts of 1:00pm-9:00pm, working a few Sundays, probably needing to wear pants that are Professional and Pinchy.

In other more ridiculous news, I am having surgery next month.  It's for the jenk uterus and, well, we'll see what comes of it.  Bottomline: I've had my period since October and the madness has to end.  We're also done having children but the doctor wants to nix the bleedy shenanigans before other things are delved into. Enough about that, though.  And I'm sorry I said "bleedy."  I hope it wasn't too much for you.

What else is ridiculous?  My mid-section.  I think it largely has to do with the whatnot above, at least, I'm hoping.

My hunger for donuts is closely nearing ridiculous levels as I can't for the life of me be sated, regardless of how many I eat.

Ezra's ears are also ridiculous. While we continue to barely stay ahead of an ear infection in one ear--the goo, it is abundant.  Ear drops seem to be working which is an improvement over last winter where not even the antibiotics would clear his ear infections.  Both his pediatrician and his ENT suspect that the tube is gone, but again--not infected! The other ear is a-okay.  

The way in which Iris is growing is splendid but a tidgy ridiculous.  She can wear a 24 month or 2T shirt quite well.  She can even wear 2T tights, leggings or jeggings.  Anything looser like regular pants or a skirt? Yeah. Size 18 months, maybe.  Homegirl has the tiniest waist and, as a result, whatnot just slips off.  It makes shopping a tick hard.  Sigh.  To have such problems.

And now for ridiculous pictures of my children.





Love/hate Thursday

Love: This morning, while getting Iris dressed, T said these words, "JEGGINGS ARE, LIKE, THE BEST INVENTION EVER!"  I don't even know, folks.

Hate: I only ever really think about how expensive kids are when I buy them clothes because they keep growing.  Always with the growing! Always taking clothes to Goodwill!

Love: Starrfish told me about this hair product awhile ago and I am loving how it calms down my flyaway hairs due to blowdrying/heat styling.  (Psst...R, I've been using it on wet hair and it works just as well!)

Hate: It's going to turn colder and dryer here by the end of the day so I'mma going to be needing this potion. 

Love: Stretchy pants

Hate: I am so very poofy in my mid-section right now.  Like, second trimester appearing kind of poofy.

Love: Lunchtime

Hate: I have a lot of errands to run on my lunch break and a conference call 55 minutes later, so I am going to need to haul buns.

Love: Ezra loves food so, so much and will eat pretty much anything

Hate: Forming a new record, Ezra asked what we were having for dinner at 7:47am this morning.  Geez.  I told him I didn't know.  I still don't.

Love: My job, for the most part

Hate: Histrionics from some people.  Seriously.  It is sometimes what I imagine it would be like to work with some of Ezra's classmates WHO ARE THREE.

Love: P.F. Chang's

Hate: I am feeling a little bit lowly worm and wondering if I could coerce T into getting take-out from there for dinner so that I may have tasty foods and jammies after the small fries go to bed.

Love: My friends



Feel free to share your loves and hates...

Evenings

In a rather startling turn of events, it appears that Ezra turned into a pissy 13 year old while at school yesterday.

While driving home and while I was most certainly not even hassling him, he randomly said to me, "Mama! STOP BUGGING ME!"

Yeah. No.

I so pulled the car over (Mom Move!) and turned around and looked him dead square in the eye and said, "Not a good choice in how you talk to me. I can hear your words, and you do not need to shout at me." He said "okay," I pulled back on the road and we ate McDonald's for dinner and the pissy 13 year old had been exorcised. 

Ezra's been very shouty lately and I totally get the heartfelt nature of his words, but, dude, no bueno. When this happens, I take him into a different room and tell him, "You do not shout at Mama and Papa.  We don't shout at you and we do not shout at each other in this family.  We can hear your words."  I sometimes wonder if this isn't squashing some emotion and/or tendency that Dr. ParentingGuru thinks is vital to a child's development, but I just don't happen to enjoy being shouted at by someone who wants to be a bossy biscuits in that exact moment.

Shouting for excitement?  WOOT! WOOT! Shouting because your coat is green and you don't want to wear it? Not okay.  And while my words are all very "Shouting is not kind..." mostly I want to say "What the eff, half pint? That ain't cool!  Zip it!"

Sigh.

Below are some poorly shot pictures of my small fries.  No pictures are ever great anymore because they are fast like cockroaches in the daylight.

Brown hairs, black hairs.

Iris' arm.  She is v. speedy.

Today's to-do list

• Have the car cleaned, inside and out
• Follow up with surgery scheduler (I will share more later)
• Do some work while actually at work. Like, prepping for that three hour lecture I have in two weeks
• Refrain from shopping for spring clothes online
• Eat a salad for lunch
• Remember to mail postal things
• Pick-up drycleaning
• Resist urge to rake the front yard
• Stop checking the weather forecast and giving the weekend weather the middle finger

****

What's on your to-do list today?

Quiet brains

Things are quiet here.

Post-holiday I am feeling less twitchy and shoulder-chewy.  Ezra is starting a weekday tumbling class and a weekend sports sampler.  T is in the country and even on this side of the state a bit more during the week.  Iris has two less weekly appointments.  

I am cooking more dinners for Ezra and myself (T eats his own thing; Iris doesn't care one way or another) and each night I ask him, "What made you happy today?" and "Did anything make you sad today?"  We chat and he tells me how one day he would like to dip a pancake in salsa.

T and I decided to take a week long, out of the country, 10 year anniversary trip next year and this makes me happy and nervous.  Happy because traveling with T is one of the top things that makes me excited about life and nervous because being away from the kids makes me feel Weird.

I am trying to look less like a hobo when dressing for work and the extra bit of effort is making me feel better.

There is no snow currently on the ground and I can drive as fast or as slow as I want (speed traps, notwithstanding) and not feel like I need to white-knuckle it for safety.  Also, I am not all cold-wind-chapped on my face which I do not like at all.

Things are quiet and I like it.

Things

Things I am thinking about:

1. Whether or not Ezra will like the roast and mashed potatoes I am making for dinner
2. Why I didn't buy any candy while I was at Target 
3. The truly nice people I've encountered lately, both online and in real life
4. How much I hate the word "tit"

Things I bought at Target that were not candy:

1. Face wash
2. Gum
3. Vitamins for both small people
4. Eyeshadow
5. Batman socks for Ezra
6. Mickey mouse socks for Iris

Things about this weekend:

1. I hope Ezra discontinues his current trend of waking up at 6:00am
2. I hope the god forsaken snow melts away
3. I would like to procure some candy
4. Ezra needs a haircut
5. T will announce his need for a nap for about the 7,846,293 time since we had children

Things that are candy that I wouldn't mind eating:

1. Red Swedish Fish
2. Sour Patch Kids
3. Sour cherry gummy Santas
4. Orange Starbursts

Things that made me laugh recently:

1. Diane Rehm laying the shaky-voiced smackdown on a caller recently
2. A co-worker
3. Watching "Friday After Next" with T
4. When Iris dramatic-fake-cried this morning and then laughed .001 seconds later

Random useless tidbits

Based on what you all shared below, it appears that forgetting deodorant is an affliction.  

In other pit news, MFA Mama shared a worthy tidbit of using Purell in a pinch (I'm assuming the alcohol nukes everything stank?) and I'm storing that nugget away.  I've also discovered that if things turn manky halfway through the day that a quick swabby with a baby wipe and a reapplication of deodorant will keep you truckin' until nighttime.

****

My pants have not been fitting as well as I like--not Extremely Ill-Fitting but not exactly Loose, which is what I prefer--so I stepped on the scale to assess the damage.  It wasn't bad. 

After finally having lost all of the pregnancy weight (twice) and discontinuing  nursing and stopped trying to get pregnant on infertility drugs and stopped pumping and finally started having a life that resembled Normal, my body settled at a weight that I am happy with and that takes some, but not a lot, of monitoring and/or effort.

Without monitoring and/or effort I turn into a damn fool and eat anything that I thought at any point in my life tasted good.  So.  Time to stop doing that in excess and shave off those extra five pounds.

****

Lately, Ezra has been into naming an animal that he would like to a) procure from the forest and b) ride.

"Mama, where are the foxes? I would like to ride one."

"Mama, can I have a baby wolf so that I can ride it with a saddle?"

At 42 pounds, I'm not sure the fox or baby wolf would appreciate this at all.  

****

Oh!  As for that manicure/pedicure question, I am, without a doubt, a manicure fan. I can't do my own nails to save my life and left unmanicured, I chew them up and they look atrocious and scraggly and sometimes even bleedy.  It's a nasty habit that's been lifelong, and spiffy manicures are the only way I can .  

****

I have discovered a new Starbucks to go to after I drop the kids off at daycare and before I head to work and, folks, it is getting me to work 20 minutes early.  The efficiency: I tongue-kiss it.

Also, I've been going to bed a bit earlier and then waking up a bit earlier and our mornings are so smooooth, I don't even know what to do.  

2012 is bringing it in terms of making me less snarly.

****

My uterus is still jenk, in case you were wondering.  But I have a third appointment with my ob/gyn this Friday to further discuss whether or not I want it and all of its cohorts evicted.

****

Speaking of jenk, there is something amiss at the Circle K work that I LOOOONG to discuss with you all but I've been hesitating on whether or not do do so. So, as a result, am listening to my gut and keeping my lips zipped further.

Until maybe later.  

Maybe.

*****

In big girl news, Iris can mostly unzip her coat, take it off and hang it up in her cubby at school.

It makes my heart explode a little bit each morning.

Nosey Nancy: Personal Hygiene edition

I don't really consider myself too terribly high maintenance when it comes to how I look or how I get myself there, but, all things being relative, I do Have Needs. So I'm wondering about your needs, your particulars, your whatnots when it comes to your appearance. 

1. Have you ever forgotten to put on deodorant? 
2. What do you love most about the way you look?
3. Have you ever cut your own hair and had it turn out horribly?
4. Would you rather get a pedicure or a manicure?

Share away, por favor.

The holidays, status: holy moses

I am back to work on what for most every damn person everywhere is a bank holiday.  I will try to not be bitter as I haven't worked much the previous two weeks, but you know--if I didn't complain about something here, what else would I have to say?

The past weeks have been comprised of mostly me drinking wine for dinner accompanied by a side of chocolates.  Seriously.  I drank my dinners.  It was pretty damn fabulous.

T and I also had a many daydates because I shuffled the children off to school because we are paying them a lot of money and I wanted to get our money's worth.  T has been off for two and a half weeks and it's been absolutely dreamypants.  I could get used to having a stay at home husband with the continued direct deposit also occurring.

On Christmas Eve and Christmas, I played Hostess with Mostest with 13 people over for Christmas Eve dinner and 10 on Christmas morning for brunch.  The 26th had me telling T that anyone is welcome to come and visit but if they dirty a plate they should expect a punch in the neck.  

The kids loved all of their presents and while some received preferential treatment that morning ("Transformers! I heart you long time!," says my son) they've played with everything.  Iris is knee deep in Little People and all of their accoutrements--SUV, house with doorbell, farm, tractor, many animals--and loving all of it.

And so if there was one picture to sum it all up, it would be the one below.