It first happened a few weeks ago.
The daycare center that Ezra goes too is on the second floor (with its own card-access stairwell and elevator, which is nice) of a building that is also home to a large work-out facility. This facility has its own drop-off child care for parents who are exercising.
As we were leaving one evening, Ezra saw a little African-American baby through the window of the drop-off child care room.
"Look, Mama! A baby Effra! He's cuuuuttte!" (he can't say the Z in his name, so it comes out like this).
"He is cute! And he does kind of look like you did when you were a baby."
I'll admit, this kind of surprised me. Mainly because I don't think any child is as cute as Ezra was when he was a baby (minus Iris, of course, but coming in a close second is Louis, Sandra Bullock's baby because holy snakes, I could eat that baby on toast he is so cute), but mostly because it surprised that Ezra saw this baby's color as similar to his. Kids are not colorblind.
It happened again this weekend while Ezra, my dad and I were eating lunch at Noodles.
A super stylish African-American couple sat down a few tables away and Ezra started smiling at them. They smiled back and waved. He waved back. He shouted, "Hi, GUYS!" They laughed. I tried to turn is attention back to Wisconsin Mac and Cheese.
"They're brown like me!"
"They sure are, baby."
I mentioned to my dad that this is interesting and surprising to hear him say and my dad chalked it up to Ezra being old enough to notice differences and similarities of all kinds--skin color, height, coats, glasses, etc.
I think I find it most surprising because I naively assumed that because skin color doesn't matter to T and I, that it wouldn't be something Ezra notices. Well, not mattering isn't the same as not noticing. Durr.
And it will be clearly something he notices more of come this summer when he sees his mother's lily white/pasty skin in a swimming suit versus his own and his sister's.
5 comments:
I've never liked it when people say that they are colorblind. No you're not. You can tell the difference. It's OK to not be colorblind. Its best to just love all the colors in the crayon box.
This is so interesting. The Boy, talking to his granny, described one little girl in his class as having brown skin -- I almost corrected him. We're so used to saying skin color doesn't matter that it seems jarring for him to use it as a descriptor. But I shut my mouth because he uses it just like hair color or what shoes people are wearing. I just said, "Yes. V is so pretty."
But I wonder what's the right thing.
Theo's busting it all out too. "Look at that black lady not smiling. Is she a mad black lady?"
Of course I die but then again he's not being racist, just noticing differences. It's such a hard spot to be in.
My hubs is Korean and my son looks just like him. JUST like him. I truly forget about the Asian so when he came out I was actually surprised I had an Asian baby!
One person (in 8 mos) has asked if was mine - a Korean woman in the grocery store who had a mixed daughter of her own. But I expect it to happen more over his lifetime, along with his own questions. I'm still not sure how to respond in either situation. Thankfully he doesn't talk yet so I have time. ;) As for the other, well, hopefully they ask when I'm in a good mood
The book Nurture Shock has a really interesting chapter about just this topic - might be worth a flip through. I'd loan you mine but I already loaned it out to one of those people who NEVER returns things. So I guess I really gave it away. Which is okay too. Anyway, that's besides the point.
Things I love: Ezra saying "Hi GUYS!"
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